L.O.V.E.

for a couple of weeks now ive been dreaming about someone i had a hugggge crush on.
and i really did love him, and i knew he loved me , but me and him could not be together because we had a what you call a Hate love thing going on.,

it all started at high school, i fell in love with a great nice guy , 
to me he was himself and he was a cool guy to chill with,
but at school he was soooo diffrent , then when he was with me.
at school he and his dumb new friends acted a fool at school ( sh*t that rhymes LoL)
he was a bully at school, everyone that looked like a target was his victim.
and he started to bullying me and others as well , cause he wanted to look f*ckin cool.

 ( BULLYING IS NOT COOL )

later on in our school life he kept bullying me, and others,
and i could not believe how he could change from mr nice guy to mr bully.

i was serriously heartbroken, cause i though we had an connection,
cause i knew he liked me , the way i liked him,
and i thought there was gonna be a futere here between us.
but that was a big ass lie to me.
cause when school was out and he walked with me to the bus ,
he was a great guy , the guy i fell in love with,
but as soon as he stept on school ground it was another game.
he wanted to be cool, instead of just himself,

he started to get He began to be physically, his bullying became worse then words.
 he started to hitting  me, and really tryna break me down mentally
i came home with bruising on my arms my back.
mentally i was broken, 
cause i could never understand how someone that supost to love you back,
is treating you like this., like a piece of sh*t ,
i started to think he never cared at all.,
i felt like a fool , later on he became worse , 

and thats when i fought back.
when he kicked me , i kicked back.
when he called me names i called him names back.
i wanted to let him know this aint right.
and that i was done with him.
we never had the chance to be in a relationship.
i know he wanted to , and i wanted to.

but im not gonna be in a relationship that is gonna kill me mentally,
i was sad cause i knew what kinda guy he was and  could have been,
but to be honest i alway still had love for him,
and i know for a fact he still does have the same feeling for me to.
but after all of that drama in highschool.
it is beter that we have drifted apart, 
and i have my life and he has his.

but after all these years i still have love for the guy.
but not as i used to have, 
he will always have a place in my memories , but never more in my heart.




xoxox
NADIA