No love

today my moms great-uncle Nico called my mom.
he is almost 85 on febuari 11th.
but he was talkin to my mom and the rest of my moms family became a topic of conversation,
and he told my mom that her own mama my grandmother does not give a f*ck about us.
she does not give a f*ck about me and her.
2 years ago on my grandmothers birthday things went bad.,
me and my aunt got into a little dissagrement.
i took my responsibility in this , but she did not..no and the fact is she is also the one that needs to take responsibility in that..but she didnt..and i got all the blaim.
so
fast forward,......
my mother did not feel so good..she was sick as f*ck..it was a mirical she was still standing.
but my mom and me said to my grandma sorry but we are gonna leave now.
we where there the whole damn day and left at four,
so we came home and i took care of my mom and nobody even called to check how she was doing.
and later my mom had to go to the hospital for some tests.,
my mom has rheumatoid arthritis and she sleeps realllllly bad,
and we are looking for a something to help , we know there is no cure.
and there is no real painkiller., but we want a answer , we want a chance to find a painkiller that works a little,

but anyways..the relationship with the family never was good.
even wayy before i was born my mom never had a great relationship with her family.
only her grandmother and her uncle my greatuncle Nico where the ones that loved her unconditional.
and if u ask the rest of the family what they did to her , they will always will deny that they did.
and ever since i grew up and i stood up and protected my mother,
so if they said something insulting i stood up and had my big mouth open.
to let them know nobody messes with my mama..aiigghht..
that is still a a factor..f*ck with my momma and u will answer to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but to make a long story short.
my grandma was pissed of at the fact we left early.
but i thought that she was ok with that ,
cause fact is that on my birthday her ass left earlier than we did leave at her birthday,.
and she promised my mother that at my moms birthday she would stay for diner and guess what..
she left after an hour..while me and my mom always f*ckin  have to stay at her birthday for the whole damn day and spend money on a taxi ( money we did not even have)
and no thanks or whatever..f*ck that.
my mom was always there for my granmother eventho they did not get along in the past.
my grandmother always treated my mom like sh*t .
no my mom said that was in the past..im gonna help my mom out.
my grandmother always called her names..in the stores she loudly said HEY SLAVE COME ON..HURRY UP !!yess she did say that to my momma.
and did my mom say something no..my grandma is eldery..and needed help in house.
so my mom took it ,
till 2 years ago at the birthday party.
nobody called , nobody asked how the she was at the hospital no..
for weeks nothing..
so i made a decision to call my grandmother..cause eventho there where drama sometimes i called up.
eventho it was not my thing to do ..my grandma had to do it ..
but i did it anyways..and she was pissed at me..and my mom.
and said stuff that well im not gonna post here..
and the thing she said between lines was f*ck the problems you and your mom had and have get over it.
dont be a baby.
and after that she said..there is a streetfare coming in my town..come over !!
that was not a question that was a direct command.
and i said i dont know cause my mom does not feel so good.
again grandma said between the lines GET THE F*CK OVER IT!!!!!
did i imagine that she said that no...this is her ammo.
and that broke my heart cause a part of me always loved her.
and wanted to have bond with her..eventho there where frictions sometimes.
my mom wanted it to.
but she gave up ..and then i gave up on the fact im never gonna have a normal relation ship with my family,
but today my greatuncle Nico called and talked about my grandma.
he was telling her how proud he was at my mom and me.
proud of how hard my mom is fighting the rheumatoid arthritis.
and how i found a new job and workin my ass off.
he was proudly saying that..
and honestly im proud of me and my mom.
cause after all the f*cked up years me and my mom had.
it was time for some good .,
but she told him she did not give a f*ck.
and that broke my heart and made me angry.
cause eventho the hate in the family among us.
i do not wish anyone bad..me and my mother both dont wish bad on them ( yes reall)
but apparently they wish bad on us..
and honestly i dont give a f*ck.
ive been through much more bullsh*t than this.
ive been through hell and back..and they need to realize that they....
have no clue of what me and my mother went through when they did not even try to be in our lives.
so they dont have to come over and talk sh*t...cause in the end you have never known us.
they never tried to get to know me back in the day.
when i was little..and when my mom needed to be saved from a man that made our live hell.
they never tried..so im done trying to make a relationship.
and for the record im not talking to my nephews and nieces i do not have anything agains them.
i love them..
im done with my aunts my uncles and father  ,
except for uncle Nico and aunt magreet and my halfsisters, i love nico and magreet and my halfsisters they have been the only ones loving us and being there for us from the start.,..
and i will alwayss be there for them..and protect them with everything i got.

i will always have my moms back...
and for my grandma im done ...you get no love














-Nadia-