going through changes

hey
im sorry again for not stopping by as much..
ive been going through changes ..in my personal life.
it has to do with my past and the traumatic things that have happend.
im tryna give them a place in my head.
cause honestly couple of years ago i wanted to just earase my mind if i could.
but i realized i could not change anything.
so the only thing left for me to do is just go through it and learn to live with it.

so thats what im tryna do.
learn to live with it.
and it is not an easy process...it can take a long time.
and it can be extremely painfull and extremely hard .
there will be tears , there will be anger..there will be a time that nothing will make sense.
there will be a time when it hurts so bad it feels like your heart really is breaking.

but in the end i hope to get to a place of peace.
a place where i can accept the past and move on.
a place where i know where ive been and where im going.

and a place where i can look at myself and say yeahhh ive fought this ..
im a soldier...i am no quitter..i am strong...

i know i sound depressing sometimes.
but it is not my intension to bring anyone down or be a depressing person.
cause truly i am not like this.
but sometimes when you go through a traumatic Experience,
and you cannot escape the hurt you have..that will depress you.
and honestly that is understandable..anyone going through traumatic things, can get depressed.

there is not shame in admiting it..
but do not let it grab you and let you stay stuck.
do not let it influence your life..
cause take it from me...it is no joke.
when you let it take you to a place where you cannot get out of.
it is not easy to get out of either.
so when you are in it , realize that it is ok it can happen to anyone.
but please do not i repeat do not...let it influence your life.
when you realize that you are in it , and you wanna get out.
get help, ask for help ., yes i know there are people that do not like it.
but believe me this is something you cannot deal on you own.
get help and fight to get out.
you and i are worth fighting for.

so i am not ashamed saying im dealing with my past.
and that i am GOING THROUGH CHANGES.




-Nadia-