push

i do not like people pushing me..to do stuff they want me to do..

well who does love to be pushed '''nobody''

this thing im talkin about is something i was thinking about doing...someone made the choice to push me to do it ''NOW'' .

i wanted to do it anyways , but at my own pace and my own terms and time.

i do not want to be pushed..i felt like i was standing waiting for a bus and this person threw me infront of it ''BAMMM''.

this week has been pretty much boring..except for the fact im really thinking about what im gonna do next in my life ..i wrote about that in the last blog entry..

im still thinkin.., but now im thinkin where to make my first step and how im gonna take it.

i know it sounds so dumb and pathetic.

but take it from me, from someone that tried to do almost everything and stopped before i acctuly could sucseed , cause of fear & failure.

when you where raised good ( by my mom ) and she told me i could be anything i want to be.

and i could accomplish anything.

i believed her..

until a man known as my dad crushed it.

and when i went to school there where some bullies that did the same they made me feel so low..and made me feel like i wasnt shit and i could not do anything.

they brought me down like my dad.

and soo thats where it comes from my fear for failing.

but im not scared for that anymore , they cannot everrr hold power over me.

cause im done with that. and i forgive them ( not for them for me) and i do not forgive what they did .., cause that can never be justified.

cause bullying is not good ..it will never be good.

i do care how bad someone feel or what they have been through..you do not evaah make someone else there life bad , because yours is bad.

bullying is not cool ., dope whatevah..

raise ur glass if u agree

that bullying is not cool and will never be cool.. no matter what that person has been gone through,

yes life is hard , it can be verrry f*ckin painfull .

i can be so hard that you cannot see light at the end of the tunnel.

and believe me i was there..and honestly sometimes i still do not see the light..

but i see little pieces of the light..and that gives me faith.

that i will be there ..,someday.. and somedays i do not believe at all.

but at the end of the day in my heart i have hope..

so do not give up on anything.

and remember bullying is not cool dope whatevaah..

and to the people that are getting bullied..im sorry you have to go through that.

but please do not give up hope..and faith..and do not everr think you are nothing.

my sweet you are special , every good human is special.

and do not give faith on people. not everyone is hatefull.

believe in you..love you..and F**CK the haterzz.

xoxoxo

nadia